Author’s Bio: My name is Clark Xu, and I have a Master's degree in computers. Our company website, www.sandaki.com, is also a platform for people to share their stories about depression and anxiety. If you are anxious, this blog may help you. You are not alone, everything will be ok.
Yes, I'm a severe anxiety sufferer. As a programmer, the midlife crisis of thirty-five years old, just like a heavy burden, has fallen on my shoulders since my first day at work. It makes me constantly remind myself to keep learning, stay competitive, and not to waste my youth, which may seem like an inspirational prescription, but also has a huge side effect of anxiety.
So, I cannot sleep and eat under such pressure all day, insomnia is a common thing, also, I've lost my appetite. Long-term anxiety also led to stomach discomfort.
Why do I feel anxious?
Is it because of the midlife crisis of being laid off at the age of thirty-five? Yes, but this is not the most important reason. After careful consideration, I found that the root cause of anxiety is dissatisfaction with the current situation and the fear of facing uncertainty.
From this point of view, every anxious person should applaud himself, at least they are positive, and they have not given up on themselves.
What helps support with anxiety?
● Redefine goals and planning
When we enter the workforce, whether it is set by ourselves or given by others, there is always a goal, such as buying a house, such as how much we earn, etc. This goal is the source of our motivation. However, whether this goal is reasonable, It can be achieved in the end, but few people reflect on it. When we fail to accomplish our goals, we blame ourselves more often. This situation is even more obvious when one makes a mistake.
Get out of the deadly cycle of self-blame, reflect on the reasonableness of this goal, and then according to the actual performance of individuals, re-plan and set yourself a goal that you can achieve. If possible, it is best to write down the goal, and whenever you blame yourself, use your performance and your own goals to do a comparison, so that you can try to avoid emotional interference.
● Increase certainty
Reduce the focus on uncertainty and increase certainty. As an ordinary laborer, I am like the vast majority of people who are running for their lives. The humble birth and the psychological disparity are why people think about crossing the class and living a life of wealth and freedom. So then people think about earning more money.
When we follow the stock market for a long time, our emotions are easily affected by the ups and downs situation of the market. This uncertainty then increases our anxiety.
What works is to improve your skills so that you can steadily increase your wealth, and you should focus more on that than on uncertain things.
● Creating a sense of accomplishment
Our lives are filled with various tasks, the boss is concerned about the completed results, few people will pay attention to your inner feelings.
Regarding this problem, the solution I can think of is to create a sense of accomplishment. Create a sense of accomplishment for yourself. Difficulties can only beat you to the punch, but they cannot defeat you unless you admit defeat to yourself.
For example, insist on running every day, then record the running mileage, over time, when you see your running results, you will have a sense of accomplishment. Find out the same thing from what you are good at or interested in, and stick to it for a long time, the sense of accomplishment is created little by little in this way.
Wrong approaches to help with anxiety:
● Waiting, avoidance
This approach is a waste of time and does not get to the root of the problem.
● Set a big goal
As an adult, my personal opinion is not to set a mega-goal at the beginning, taking one step at a time is probably a more realistic approach.
● Alcohol addiction
Drinking alcohol does not solve the underlying problem, and it can increase the level of anxiety.
Best practices to relieve symptoms:
● Talk with your family members, friends and others
● Do exercises
● Take a trip
● Get enough sleep